Our visit to Tamera has been the most mind expanding and challenging experience of our 10 months exploring community and communal living. Before the journey started we hadn’t addressed the issue of love and sexuality in the context of community. In all honesty it hadn’t really occurred to us that it should be a core subject when thinking about building successful community. Tamera believes that the subject area is critical to not just community but global peace as well. Whether you believe this to be the case or not it’s been fascinating learning from people that have dedicated their lives to this area of research. One thing I now take as gospel is that no community can brush the issues of love and sexuality under the carpet and expect to create a harmonious environment.
Tamera believes that the long history of patriarchal violence and oppression creates separation anxiety, jealousy, competition, mistrust and falsehood within us, especially in sexuality, love and partnership. That’s why we can hardly ever reach the goal of our longings. The research project works to transform these patterns into structures of sustainable trust and mutual support. They argue that as long as we see sexuality and love as merely private and emotional issues, we’ll continue to follow the old ingrained patterns of fear. Tamera works to create spaces that allow residents and course participants to be truthful with each other, to become conscious of the patterns steering us and to make new choices.
They write on their website that we can’t find sustainable solutions for the issues of love and sexuality on a private level alone, but only through creating a new social system of coexistence that embeds the individual in community. In a field of trust in love, it’s possible to live in partnership and have other relationships, live without partnership and have erotic friendships and encounters, or be monogamous if this is your truth. There are no rules about our sexual choices or orientation, as long as we free our love lives from lying and deceit, embedded in a field of community and trust.
Tamera and it’s philosophies are so far removed from our life in Henley that I think we have to be quite careful about our transition back to the reality we know and love. Next week we’ll be sharing with you our transition. What a welcome back it’s been. Today’s video is the final performance from the ‘Campbell trio’, performed to about 150 guests on the Tamera stage. This took place on our last evening at Tamera and as you can see/hear it went down rather well.